You are Wanted & Loved
I don’t know about you, but when I was growing up, I
wasn’t exactly flooded with a lot of positive words to tell
me how awesome or amazing I was. It was pretty much the
opposite. You’re too this, you’re too that, or just plain
silence and being ignored, like I didn’t exist. I only tended
to matter when someone wanted something from me. I’m
talking about home, school, church – you know how mean
kids can be. In a nutshell, I felt invisible, I believed I was
invisible, like I was totally nothing. I was so, so sad. I
remember even being ignored in games.
There’s a game called ‘kati’ and it usually has a ‘paso’. The
‘paso’ can ‘save’ the team if she catches the ball or
something. I remember being so unwanted in one game,
that although I tried to play to the very end, no one even
tried to hit me. I was just running around, to and fro, like it
didn’t matter at all. Ever.
I remember leaving the game, sitting on the side and
wailing my insides out. My voice was hoarse, my eyes were
red and swollen. I remember it like it was yesterday, heck,
like it was this morning. I still shudder when I remember
that. Some girls tried to say sorry, but something had
already shifted in me. Almost permanently.
I was rejected. I was unworthy. Unwanted. It hurt so much.
How I made it to the end of that school day, I don’t know.
Then the bullying, kids wanting to copy my homework and
calling me names and sidelining me if I didn’t let them.
That’s the only time I was supposed to matter.
I could go on, but not now. Fast forward to my older years,
I decided that I would go back to young girls and tell them
a different thing. Tell them how special they are. How oh
so awesome and amazing they are. And will always be. Tell
them all the positive things in the world and love on them.
Beginning, not with my own daughter even, but with
When I write, I first write for MYSELF. To tell me all those
things that I should have known, felt, loved and enjoyed.
To tell me that I’m awesome and amazing because God
says so. To tell me that I’m worthy and wanted, and even if
by no-one else, by God. To tell me that I matter.
And then immediately after, to tell my daughter. Everyday.
All the time. Because if I don’t, I might scar her for life,
not by commission, but by omission. So I tell her even
when she asks what that random hug was for. Or that
compliment. Because when I’m gone, I want her to
remember that she’s absolutely gorgeous, awesome,
amazing, to die for. She’s all that and a bag of chips.
Then I glance aside and over my shoulders and out the
window and on top of the trees, and I see all those little
girls…little girls who are little, and little girls in big girls.
Longing for love and affection, affirmation and praise, hugs
and a loving touch, and boy oh boy, don’t I just want to
give it to them!
So since I can’t reach everyone everywhere, here’s what I
do. If you’ve read this far, you probably need this. So here’s
a big bunch of hugs, love and flowers. Just for you. All for
you. And all of God’s love, because, well, that’s the ONLY
love that heals us. And then there’s a ton of books I write
and put out there, hoping to reach a girl’s heart. A little
little girl’s heart, and a little big girl’s heart. And heal it.
Like with my 2 new books. I’ve picked out words that build
your confidence and your self-esteem. I’ve hidden them in
a word search grid. And then I’ve listed them out for you.
All I ask you to do is to look for each word and circle it.
And as you do, tell yourself that you are that amazing word.
You are beautiful. Confident. Lovable. Worthy. Wanted.
Desired. All of them. Because you are. Because God says
you are. The same way those negative things were
imprinted in your mind and lasted, that’s the same thing I
want to do – to imprint positive, encouraging words about
yourself in your mind. Go ahead and do yourself a favour.
Get a book for yourself. Get one for your sister too, you
know she went through the same hell. Then get one for
your daughter, your niece, or another little girl in your life.
No one else should have to suffer like you did, like I did,
like we did. Let’s help each other out. Let’s grow together.